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The transition happened

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  • The transition happened

    So, you have married a person. Then, after few years, he/she transitioned himself/herself into a transman or transwoman. You were in shock and horror when you learned this one. What would you do now?

  • #2
    If that is the case, then we could begin to have a divorce. She would have a good life while I would have my own, too. I think that we could still be friends. Oh, I would have a new friend.


    • AirBobo
      AirBobo commented
      Editing a comment
      I totally agree. There's no point in staying in a relationship where we are both women already. Also, maybe we'll click better as friends now that she's a woman as well.

    • butterflyanxious
      butterflyanxious commented
      Editing a comment
      Maybe you two deserve to be friends after all. She just needed a companion, perhaps? Someone she can be with during her days of transitioning, well, I cannot judge her for that if that is her decision. I'd support her if that were my partner, we'd still be friends after all. Right?

  • #3
    I would congratulate her on her new life. If she allows me to be her new friend, then that would be well and good.


    • heartheart
      heartheart commented
      Editing a comment
      I had read a story where they became good friends after her husband transitioned. Now, they go over coffee and shopping together like best friends.

    • BeautifulAngels
      BeautifulAngels commented
      Editing a comment
      Would you accept that news immediately? Would you not even feel bad or sad with it?

  • #4
    If I happen to experience something like that, I will be ashamed of myself for not noticing that he actually wants to be trans. But what's done is done so I guess I'll just let him do what he wants. Wait, I'm supposed to say 'she', right?


    • clssc
      clssc commented
      Editing a comment
      Yes, you are supposed to say "she" as she has already transformed into something else. She has already transformed into a woman she wanted to be.

    • Caila99
      Caila99 commented
      Editing a comment
      Actually, there were people who had kept their true sexuality deeply so much so as there was no hint at all.

  • #5
    Oh, were there any signs that you had noticed signalling that your husband was not a real man? How could you not notice that something was amiss? Aha! Was he good in bed when he was still a man?


    • LessSalt
      LessSalt commented
      Editing a comment
      He must be a good pretender, I see. Well, maybe it took him long and hard enough to finally accept who he really is, LOL! I know, I intended those puns there.

    • lie11
      lie11 commented
      Editing a comment
      You know, it is difficult to be someone whom you are not. You should have thought that he spent a lot of time hiding his real sexuality.

  • #6
    I think I'll be happy for my husband but at the same time sad because the transition that he did was just a sign of the end of our marriage.


    • hamster11
      hamster11 commented
      Editing a comment
      At least you are open that he is truly a transwoman and you supported his happiness, he couldn't be anymore thankful for that. Of course, it's time to end the marriage if you two no longer find love with each other, but if he still wants to stay with you, let him stay.

    • Franshanica89
      Franshanica89 commented
      Editing a comment
      You would become sad at first, then after some time, you would be able to accept it. By that time, you would be happy for her already.

  • #7
    If my wife became a transman, then I'll accept it wholeheartedly. I will still love him and I will still stay by his side if that's what he wants me to do.


    • karsha78
      karsha78 commented
      Editing a comment
      You could stay on his side, but would he want it? I guess that he would be looking for some women already.

    • stevemcdream
      stevemcdream commented
      Editing a comment
      karsha78 I think that's his point, he wants him to look for some women and he will join in as well, get it? He will use him as his bait to have women coming to his house and they'll all have a really good time, lol!

  • #8
    So, what would happen to the kids if ever there are kids? When someone transitions, it creates disruptions of lives among all people who are affected by it.


    • superego
      superego commented
      Editing a comment
      I think today's generation where LGBTQ+ is open to the world, those kids might be affected but they will soon understand. I hope that they'd still love their parents the same even if things aren't working out well for both of them as husband and wife (then comes the transitioning).

    • percymercy
      percymercy commented
      Editing a comment
      allaboutlove the kids will understand sooner or later, the best thing to do as couples is to give assurance that their kids will receive the same love and treatment as they use to. There will never be a change in how'd they treat those kids.

  • #9
    How could it be so quick that your partner just transformed himself/herself? Transitioning would take time and money so it would not be that fast and easy.


    • Airphylab
      Airphylab commented
      Editing a comment
      But would you still accept your husband to be transitioning himself into a transwoman? So, what if he wants to stay with you, would you still accept him as a woman but he still loves you dearly?

    • AmalgamAmaze
      AmalgamAmaze commented
      Editing a comment
      Airphylab if you'd ask me, I'd let my husband transition, it's his choice and I cannot stop him from doing the things he wants. I'd still accept him if he wants to stay with me, I think the way I see him will never change at all. That is true love, right? Yeah, I love truly him that's why.

  • #10
    I am just curious how you managed to marry someone yet you don't know his real gender identity? Is it possible that the time you spent together was not enough? Or maybe you are just so naive? If I were you, talk to her and ask her what she wants to do with your marriage.


    • tolerable
      tolerable commented
      Editing a comment
      It's possible that they might end up filing divorce papers. In addition to your question, he might be good at hiding his real identity. I hope that he's true to his intentions and this is not some sort of a sick prank.

    • imahappyclown
      imahappyclown commented
      Editing a comment
      I bet that a partner would choose to be naive if they've fallen deeply in love with a person. They accept their partners despite their flaws so it is clear that sometimes they've become too naive of the situation that has to be handled seriously in the first place.

  • #11
    That is some shocking revelation. If I ever experience that, I think I'll feel betrayed and somehow ashamed. Betrayed because he didn't tell me that he has some plans on being a transwoman. And ashamed because I didn't know that the person I married is not actually straight. Bottom line is that, I'll ask her for a divorce.


    • potatome
      potatome commented
      Editing a comment
      Yes, you could ask for a divorce simply because you can't be together anymore. She would have her own man and you would have your own man, too.

    • backrubsss
      backrubsss commented
      Editing a comment
      After the divorce, I hope everything goes well for both of you. Things aren't meant to happen that way but it did and there's nothing we can do about it.

  • #12
    I would keep my temper down. Maybe, I need time for things to sink in first. That would be a bit difficult to accept, right?


    • mitchyLL
      mitchyLL commented
      Editing a comment
      I know you'll be mad but you should keep calm and handle the situation in a nice way. Ask him about the transition that has been going on, ask him all the possible questions that you two might talk about in a nice way.

    • xXtinaGelo
      xXtinaGelo commented
      Editing a comment
      shizzlygizzly it is truly unacceptable if those kinds of things suddenly happened, like for no reason. You two were happily married then bam! Your husband is already transitioning into a woman just like you. I'd be furious and be in shock as well.

  • #13
    How come I've never learned about the transition of my own husband? That's complete bullshit, I'd file the divorce papers if he wants it that way. I'm not being a homophobe whatsoever but I've wasted my years with him knowing that he has turned into a different person. He will never be the husband that I know he is.


    • funfun88
      funfun88 commented
      Editing a comment
      You're not a homophobe and you must be stressed knowing that you're husband put you through all this, the marriage and everything then he will turn out to be a transwoman. It would make you think, was he really in love with you or maybe he just used you because he is in denial of his own true identity?

  • #14
    If I learned that my wife is transitioning into a transman, I'd be disappointed, knowing that I wasn't enough for her. Could it be that I did something wrong? I don't think that I ever did anything to make her choose that path that she's already in but it's too late to convince her to go back to how things were. Maybe it's time for us to go on our separate ways then.


    • PieDish
      PieDish commented
      Editing a comment
      Maybe you missed the part when she opened up to you about her sexuality. You shrugged it off and thinking that it's never true, now here she is turning into a man just like you. I know somewhere deep in your mind you knew that this will soon happen.